Keep Our Military Manly!

To: President Barack H. Obama

From: Bruce Roberts, Military Ret.

I am writing to express my displeasure in your recent support of repealing the military’s policy regarding homosexuals, and must say I am revolted and insulted that you would bring such disgrace to our armed forces by letting these people serve at all.

Let me first say I am repulsed by the very idea that the homosexuals would be allowed serve alongside our brave men and women in uniform, and feel personally offended both as veteran and as God-fearing, red-blooded American patriot.

I fought in World War II and did not watch my good friends and fellow soldiers die horrible deaths overseas so that a bunch of mincing nancies could dilute and weaken our armed forces. My buddies who I watched storm the beaches of Normandy- striding gracefully out of the water, droplets falling like glistening diamonds from their, young, Adonis-like bodies- would roll in their graves if they saw what you have done to our military. I fought alongside those great men as they slogged to the shore- flimsy wet uniforms clinging to their tight, sculpted physiques – and I will not stand to see their memory shamed in such a way.

Allowing gays into our glorious military is not only immoral, but dangerous. If you are going to put your life in another man’s hands you need to trust them. How can our warriors feel safe and secure when they have to rely on these creepy deviants to protect them in battle? I remember late nights in the Arden Forest when I stood watch over my brothers in arms- seeing the soft moonlight reflect off their flaxen hair, making it glow a pale and radiant blue. I watched them sleep, the slight rise and fall of their washboard stomachs, their soft lips opening and closing as they mumbled sweet nothings in their sleep while the air smelled of pine trees and daffodils . I watched them all night long, sometimes for several weeks in a row. Hell, most of the time I didn’t even have sentry duty. I hate to think of what could have happened to them on those nights under watch of some filthy pervert.

I must tell you, Mr. President, that what you are doing is a disgrace to the memory of many brave men. Men like my friend and squad mate, Private Benny J. Horowitz. We were the best of pals as we fought across the European countryside. I remember those cold nights in the German Forest, as we shared a foxhole, huddled together naked to keep warm. We would share our hopes and dreams, and Horowitz would hold me with his big, rough, hands, and whisper in my ear. I’d feel his warm breath and the prickle of his stubbled chin on my earlobe.

“We’re gonna make it out of here, Bruce,” he said. “Me and you. We’re gonna make it.”

He died in my arms in outside the village of Lagersberg three weeks later. He would never live to return home the states. Our plans to move to Santa Fe and open a small Persian rug shop were dashed on that cold winter day, but his words gave me the strength to survive. Do you think a bunch of sissies would inspire such brotherhood and bravery? I think not.

In closing, I ask you keep these homosexuals out of the Army, and return our armed services to the good old days. Days when men were men and did manly things like shoot guns, mud wrestle, wear women’s clothes and put on Broadway reviews in the mess hall and engage in the long-held and sacred tradition of playing “naked ninja” with the drill sergeants late at night in the barracks.


Bruce Roberts, Patriot.


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